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Join us as we navigate the complex journey of grief and sorrow through a biblical lens in this episode of the Jaime Luce Podcast. We’ll contrast godly grief with worldly grief, exploring how scripture guides us in processing these emotions. Key passages like 2 Corinthians 7:10-11 will provide a foundation for understanding grief in a way that aligns with God’s word. Through personal insights and biblical references, we aim to offer encouragement and practical help to those experiencing grief, whether fresh or long-standing, and to those supporting others through their sorrow.
In this discussion, we explore the transformative power of godly sorrow and its role in leading us to repentance and spiritual growth. By examining how godly grief refines us, we reflect on its lasting positive impact compared to the destructive nature of worldly grief. Additionally, we delve into the importance of expressing grief through music and lamentations, using cultural and biblical examples to illustrate how mourning is essential for healing. We emphasize the necessity of seeking help and finding strength in God’s word and community during times of sorrow.
Listen in as we explore practical steps to navigate grief, such as focusing on gratitude and casting our burdens onto the Lord. We discuss how turning to scripture, trusted friends, and community can provide the support and strength needed to move from mourning to rejoicing. Through personal anecdotes and biblical principles, we highlight how embracing God’s comfort and guidance helps us overcome grief and find renewed hope and joy. This episode is filled with encouragement and insights to help you or someone you know find solace and healing through faith.
Where to dive in:
(0:00:00) – Navigating Grief (9 Minutes)
This chapter focuses on navigating grief and sorrow through a biblical lens, contrasting godly grief with worldly grief. We explore the complexities of grief, including its various stages and emotions, and emphasize the importance of turning to scripture for guidance and strength. I highlight key passages, particularly from 2 Corinthians 7:10-11, to provide a foundation for understanding how to process grief in a way that aligns with God’s word. By sharing personal insights and scriptural references, my aim is to offer encouragement and practical help to those experiencing grief, whether it’s fresh or long-standing, and to those supporting others through their sorrow.
(0:08:53) – Repentance Through Godly Sorrow (5 Minutes)
This chapter focuses on the concept of godly sorrow versus worldly sorrow and how they impact the Christian journey. We explore how grief, when allowed or even guided by God, serves a purpose in refining and correcting us, leading to repentance and spiritual growth. The discussion highlights that godly sorrow, born out of God’s will, produces lasting positive change without regret. In contrast, worldly sorrow, often resulting from tragic or unjust circumstances, lacks the redemptive quality of godly sorrow. We reflect on the importance of recognizing the type of sorrow we experience and understanding that godly correction, although painful, ultimately leads us to a path of righteousness and gratitude.
(0:13:30) – Understanding the Purpose of Grief (7 Minutes)
This chapter explores the concept of grief, distinguishing between godly grief and worldly grief. We discuss how godly grief, though painful, leads to repentance, salvation, and ultimately, a life without regret, while worldly grief results in death and negative consequences. We reflect on the transformation that godly grief can produce, such as earnestness, eagerness to clear oneself, righteous indignation, godly fear, longing for righteousness, and zeal for godliness. We emphasize the importance of identifying the type of grief we are experiencing to know how to process and move forward. By understanding the biblical definitions of grief and lamentation, we see how expressing sorrow in a godly way is not only necessary but also transformative and aligned with biblical teachings.
(0:20:08) – Expressing Grief Through Music and Lamentations (8 Minutes)
This chapter explores the profound connection between music and grief, illustrating how deeply sorrowful emotions often find their expression through music, poetry, and song. We discuss the powerful impact of music on our emotional state, emphasizing the importance of being mindful of what we listen to during times of sorrow. By referencing both personal experiences and cultural examples, such as a scene from “Dances with Wolves” and biblical references to mourning, we highlight the significance of expressing grief openly. Transitioning to a biblical perspective, we outline five steps to navigate grief, beginning with the necessity of going through it, as described in Psalm 23:4 and Matthew 5:4. Mourning is essential for healing, allowing us to receive comfort and move forward.
(0:27:44) – Navigating Sorrow and God’s Comfort (8 Minutes)
This chapter addresses the distinction between godly and worldly sorrow, emphasizing the importance of not succumbing to self-pity during times of mourning. We explore the Biblical perspective on sorrow, noting that while everyone faces trouble in this world, godly sorrow leads to healing and joy through Christ’s victory. By moving forward and not dwelling in sorrow, as illustrated in Psalm 23, we can experience God’s faithfulness and guidance. We also highlight the necessity of allowing God’s correction and protection as we navigate through life’s valleys, ensuring we continue progressing towards healing and wholeness.
(0:35:43) – Seeking Help and Finding Strength (6 Minutes)
This chapter focuses on the importance of strength, courage, and seeking support during times of sorrow and grief. We reflect on the powerful words of Joshua 1:9, encouraging us to be strong and courageous, and emphasize the need to turn to the Word of God for nourishment and strength, much like we eat food to regain physical energy. We discuss the role of trusted friends, pastors, and leaders in offering godly help and accountability. Additionally, we highlight the significance of accepting help from others, whether through meals, childcare, or simply changing the scenery to uplift our spirits. Through personal anecdotes, we underscore how engaging with God’s creation and community can bring renewed hope and joy, helping us transition from mourning to rejoicing.
(0:42:05) – Seeking Help and Examining Grief (7 Minutes)
This chapter emphasizes the importance of seeking help and support when navigating through grief. We discuss the wisdom in allowing others to support and comfort you, including the value of counseling and the significance of godly grief versus worldly grief. The conversation explores how scripture provides hope and reassurance during mourning, emphasizing that godly sorrow brings healing and comfort. Key scriptures, such as Romans 12:15, 2 Corinthians 7:10-11, and Psalm 56:8, are highlighted to illustrate how faith can provide solace. Additionally, we examine the importance of maintaining a positive thought life, even in the midst of sorrow, and encourage the practice of gratitude as a way to find comfort and healing.
(0:48:54) – Overcoming Grief and Finding Gratitude (6 Minutes)
This chapter encourages us to focus on gratitude and positive thinking as powerful tools for healing and mental well-being. We explore the importance of writing down every single thing we are thankful for, even down to the smallest functioning part of our body, to shift our mindset from negativity to thankfulness. By emphasizing the value of thinking about what is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, and commendable, we learn how to combat anxiety and grief. We are reminded to take every thought captive and focus on what lies ahead, rather than being consumed by regret over the past. Through scriptures and personal reflections, I discuss how to use these practices as weapons against mental and emotional suffering, urging us to press on toward healing and freedom through Jesus Christ.
(0:54:37) – Casting Grief on the Lord (1 Minutes)
This chapter explores the biblical principles of casting our anxieties and burdens onto the Lord, emphasizing His care and support during difficult times. Drawing from scriptures like 1 Peter 5:7, Psalm 55:22, and Isaiah 53:4, we examine how God invites us to unburden ourselves and rely on Him as our anchor. By trusting in His promise that His yoke is easy and His burden is light, we learn the importance of surrendering our griefs and sorrows to Him, knowing that He will sustain and uphold us through life’s challenges.
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Full Transcript
This transcript is auto-generated and not perfect. We hope it blesses you.
0:00:00 – Jaime Luce
We don’t set up camp in the valley of the shadow of death. We keep moving, one day at a time, but we keep moving forward. We allow the newness of the new day. Thank God that his word tells us that his mercy is new every morning and great is his faithfulness. He will be faithful to you every next day that you have to get up and get through this today. Welcome to the Jamie Luce Podcast Today.
I want to answer the question what do we do with grief? And by the word grief I mean sorrow. Not just I’ve got grief, but grief and sorrow and the difference between a godly grief according to scripture, or sorrow, versus worldly grief or sorrow. And you may be shocked to find that there is a difference, and I’d like to spend some time today hopefully being able to teach us, to learn something about godly grief, about ourselves, and, with God’s help, I think we’ll be able to do that. I’ve got a lot of scripture for you today. My hope is to infuse you with some help and encouragement today, and you probably want to jot these scriptures down. In fact, I don’t normally do this, but I’m going to make sure that I have my notes available If you’re watching this on a platform where you can access the notes. I’ve got these here and I’ll make sure that we get those uploaded for you so that you have them.
Um, because grief is a really or at least it can be a very confusing thing, um, to go through. It’s an affliction, and sometimes we, we just don’t know what to do with it and we could feel deep sorrow, like mourning, really soul aching mourning. We could have something that has grieved us so that we are hurt, we’ve picked up an offense, we are shocked, we’re angry, we might be embarrassed and hurt, we might feel that we want to take vengeance, we might feel hatred, I mean, I could go on and on. You could probably think of a million things. Whatever grief that you have gone through in your life, whatever sorrow that you have felt, if you think back to that time or if it’s now, you can think about all the different emotions that you might be feeling that go along with it, not to mention the stages of grief, because that’s not what I’m going into today. So we know that there is not just the difficulty of dealing with it and bearing up underneath it, but there are actually stages of grief that people go through, from denial to acceptance, and that’s another topic for another day.
And I just need to say up front, I am not a psychologist. I’m just trying to bring you some truth and help from the Word of God, no matter what I have faced in life, no matter how extremely difficult it has been, from the heaviest of things to the smallest of things, to things that are confusing, things that I thought that the Bible had nothing to say about. How could it? They just seem so strange, and so now not something that would be written in scripture. So strange and so now, not something that would be written in scripture.
And yet, when I would go to the word, looking for guidance, looking for help, looking for strength, I have always found that the Lord is always present. He’s in his word. Jesus is the word, and when I need help, I go to the word and that word is what sustains me. That word is what you know. We know that all scripture is God breathed and it is able to um, encourage, it, corrects it, it. It changes things in us If we will allow it to. It’s supposed to have that kind of power. Now it only if you have made him Lord can it have that effect. But if you are willing to allow the Lord to go into those places, into the confusing places, into the angry places, into the very hurtful places. If you will allow him, he has answers for you. He wants to meet you there at your place of difficulty, whatever that may be, and he wants to lead you through it. So I hope that I’ve, in the right way, whet your appetite a little bit. I know that there are, like I said, different stages of grief and there are different kinds of grief and there are different kinds of grief. My hope, as I go through this, is knowing that, no matter if you’re in grief today or not, whether you have been in the past, whether you’re carrying something that’s old or something that’s new, you will find yourself somewhere in what I have to say today. So this is not just for those who are dealing with grief themselves right now, but this is good for if you carried it before, it’s good if you’re walking along somebody who’s carrying it now, and it’s good for you if you’re the one who’s in that grief or sorrow right now.
I want to start by having us read a passage of scripture that talks about a very particular kind of grief, and I will explain all of it before we go into it. So I don’t want you to be thrown when I read this passage. It talks about grief, but it’s a very particular kind of grief, but we’re going to use it as our stepping stone to get where we’re going. So just hang tight with me and, like I said, take some notes. I’ve got lots of scripture for you today. We’re going to start in 2 Corinthians and I’m going to be reading chapter 7, verses 10 and 11. So 2 Corinthians 7, verses 10 and 11. And this is also I want to give you a background coming up to this passage.
This is Paul and his letter has been written to the church at Corinth and this is his second letter. His first letter, he had to deal with someone who was in grave sin and he spoke very sharply and gave very specific, harsh instructions on how the church was to deal with that man. And he’s now writing a second letter and he’s speaking about many things and he’s coming back around to this issue that they had dealt with when he wrote them in the first letter, and so he’s giving them kind of a synopsis of what he felt when he wrote it, its impact and how it should impact them and how they should use that going forward. So hopefully that’s enough background for you, but it would be good if you were to go back and read that for yourself. But here we go.
For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation, without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment, what punishment. I want to read this to you in a paraphrase that I read because I felt like some of these words can be a little bit confusing. The very beginning of this. It’s very clear what he’s saying, but I want you to get a better idea of what he’s talking about when he talks about zeal and indignation and fear and punishment, what he’s talking about and I got this from the second and fear and punishment. What he’s talking about and I got this from the second it’s this is second Corinthians, but it’s from the expanded paraphrase and it says for sorrow that is according to God’s will and born in God’s way, produces a repentance that leads to salvation and will never be viewed with regret. Now, before I go on, that’s really a beautiful picture.
He’s saying that when God allows grief, or if God has even asked us into grief, meaning we have followed him into this for a reason, and whether that be sin or a backsliding, whether that be dealing with people in an incorrect manner, things that we’re just dealing with the flesh and we are becoming more Christ-like in our manner and in our spirit and in our words and our tone and our decisions and where we go and what we do, if you look at the whole of how we live the Christian life, he says for sorrow. If you have sorrow about things, if you have had to walk away from things, if you’ve had to turn your back on things or people, if you’ve had to make corrections, godly sorrow, okay, for sorrow that is according to God’s will and born in God’s way, meaning that you have sorrow that has come on you because it has been born rightly. Now we’re talking about right now. This passage is about a correction that came to someone who was not living the way they should have been living and calling themselves a Christian and a part of the church. So he was being dealt with, he was being corrected, he was having to deal with a punishment and this has been the grief that he has borne and the grief that the people who have to deal with him are dealing with, the grief and the sorrow that it has brought them, even feeling that they had to be so strongly corrected by their spiritual father Paul. All of that grief and all of that sorrow was actually godly sorrow, because God instituted that they deal with it, so it is born by God’s ways.
It’s not just a grief where, if you have suffered a tragic loss in your life, the loss of a loved one, you’ve lost your job, you’ve gone through some type of tragedy, a business can close and and all that you had worked for is gone. I mean, I’m I’m listing a few couple of things that you, you could have suffered at the hands of someone else and it has caused you great sorrow. You, you could have gone through abuses and and terrible, um, pain and suffering due to, um, uh, tragic circumstances, and you could be dealing with physical things in your body, whatever the sorrow is. You could be dealing with depression, something that has got a hold of your mind, and in that depressed place that thing was brought on to you by ungodly means. It could have been something done to you. It could have been a horrific accident.
I just saw a notification about two teenage kids who were driving who were struck and killed by someone who didn’t even have a driver’s license. They were in the country illegally and shouldn’t have been here and they killed those two children. No fault of those kids, their own. And now that family is dealing with grief that is brought on by someone else. It was not a godly thing that brought this grief. It was a worldly grief brought to them, done to them. Okay, so I understand that there are different kinds of grief, but I want you to understand what this is saying.
So let me start again, for sorrow that is according to God’s will and born in God’s way produces a repentance that leads to salvation and will never be viewed with regret, which means these people what they were dealing with was regret of the sin, the person that was being dealt with if he is regretting, and the people having to feel the regret that they didn’t deal with this and they’re having to be reproved by their father, whatever they were all feeling. When God correctly deals with us in any matter of grief, that way that he deals with us will always produce in us later some type of repentance, and we won’t regret that God corrected us. We will be grateful. Instead we will be saying thank God, he didn’t allow me to keep going down that path. I was going, I was headed for trouble. Who knows what would have happened to me.
When God corrects, when God is the one who brings whatever that sorrow is into our life, you could have been going down a path with a group of people in your life and God cut those people off from you and it was was painful and you went through grief and sorrow. But you look now at where God has taken you and he’s completely shifted and changed your life and you realize he was being good to you. There is no regret in your heart that you had to go through that sorrow. You understand that it is now for the good in your life that God dealt with you. So hopefully this is making sense to you that God dealt with you. So hopefully this is making sense to you. On the other hand, sorrow that is characterized by the world’s attitudes and born in the world’s way produces deadly effects. Deadly effects and I want us to go back. I love that paraphrase and I want you to hang on to that, but I want us to go back to the scripture now. So let me read the scripture one more time, and then I’m going to take you through five things that we can do when we’re dealing with grief.
Okay, so, for godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you. So he’s letting us know right off the bat Paul is saying there’s a godly grief, there’s a worldly grief. Godly grief produces repentance and it leads to salvation. So these are the effects of godly grief, and it leaves no regret in you, whereas worldly grief produces death. There is nothing good that comes from it. There’s not one other thing that needs to be said. It is death. And he says here’s my example to you. For see what earnestness.
So how quickly they made the changes that this godly grief produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, to rid yourselves of being attached to anything that God didn’t want you attached to. It immediately produced in them a desire to holiness, to have nothing to do with what is evil, the things that they should shun. What indignation. What that means is that it produced in them a righteous indignation for what is standing against godliness. Okay, whether that be people or circumstances or whatever it said. What fear so this produced in them? Godly fear for the right things and fear of what punishment may come if they do not adhere to what God says they should adhere to. What longing this made them desire? They wanted to see Paul, they wanted to hear from him, they wanted to get more of his instruction. They wanted to let him know that they had fixed the problem. They were eager to do what was right. They longed for what was right. What zeal it produced in them for godliness and to deal with what is wrong inside the church, which is a wonderful thing.
And what punishment now? What this meant, what this word punishment actually means. Oh, I have it in my other note. Okay, so this punishment means that it produced the right outcome toward the offender. The punishment was toward the offender, not to them feeling grief that they had to deal with it, but that the one who had done wrong was being dealt with. And this godly grief produced the right dealings with the wrongdoer.
Okay, so what does this tell us? What does this whole passage tell us? That grief produces, period. Grief produces. It’s whether it’s godly grief or it’s worldly grief. So godly grief means from God for repentance. Worldly grief here means that it produces death. So if grief is producing something in me and then, consequently, from me, then the first question we must ask is what kind of grief am I experiencing? This is introspective time. If you’re dealing with grief right now, the first question I have to know is is this a godly grief that I’m dealing with? Is this a worldly grief that I’m dealing with, so that I understand how to move forward and how to deal with it? Okay, let me give you some definitions, because this will help you. In order for us to get where we’re going on the same page, we need to start on the same page, so we need to make sure we have the same definitions.
Grief means sorrow, it’s that simple. It means pain of mind and spirit, affliction, affliction. So if you are afflicted in your mind and spirit, that is grief. Another word that the Bible likes to use for godly grief is lamentation or grief period, a lamentation. We have an entire book in the Bible, the book of lamentations. Jeremiah was known as the weeping prophet. If you look at all through the Psalms and David’s life, you will see he cried out to God in lament so much, and this is a clue to us that not only is it necessary, not only should we actually participate in the grief, but that there is a godly way to do that.
So lamentations the word lamentations means the act of expressing grief or sorrow, or a lament itself. Have you ever just lamented over something? It’s the regret I wish I had not done that. I wish things would have gone differently. Why did I participate here and why didn’t I do it that way there? And why did I say that? Why did I feel that? Why am I feeling this now? Those are laments.
It can also refer to a passionate and demonstrative expression of grief, often in the form and this might surprise you, but you’ll catch on quickly the form of music and poetry and song. Have you ever noticed that when people are depressed or sorrowful, they listen to certain kinds of music, and when they’re happy, they don’t want to hear sad music. They want to hear something that matches what’s going on in their spirit. And that’s most likely because much of the music they’re wanting to hear was actually born out of grief. It was their demonstrative expression of their grief. I had recently just been scrolling.
I wanted to find it and actually play a little bit of it for you but I couldn’t find it. But there was a clip that I had watched of a man. It was an orchestra, a symphony being played of a famous composer and the music that he wrote. The reason they were playing this was there was a gentleman who was playing the piano for this music and he was playing the part of the song that was written and they know this because of the notes and what the man had said about the song. He wrote this in deep depression and you saw the fervor of the man playing the piano with just as much expression as the notes gave. He played it with that same power and that same demonstrative expression until he came to the part of the song where his grief finally began to lift and joy began to came into his heart and you heard the difference in the music and the way that he played it. It was so beautifully displayed through music.
I know that even in myself there’s many times when I’ll put music on and for some reason I think I don’t want to hear that. It feels like it’s pulling me down. It actually feels like it’s working against me to pull me into a wrong mindset and into sad thoughts, and we need to be cognizant and aware of this that this has that kind of power. Music definitely has that kind of power and we need to be careful what we’re reading, what we’re listening to, what we’re watching, what we participate in when we’re going through grief and sorrow.
Lamentations can occur when someone dies or a tragedy happens. Some synonyms include mourning, someone who’s going through mourning and wailing, weeping and crying. There’s a famous, if you remember I know it’s now an older movie, but back in the day this was just so incredibly popular but the movie Dances with Wolves. One of the characters in the movie has just lost her husband to death and she is actually attempting suicide and she is moaning and singing a type of song as she sits there and bleeds and the hero of the story comes in and he lifts her up to save her and takes her back to her people and they have a language barrier. They can’t communicate with each other and at some point the language barrier is they’re able to work through it and when she’s able to describe what was going on, she says to the man who saved her I’m in mourning and it was her deepest grief that she despaired of life itself after losing her husband, and so you can understand this word mourning and the scriptures, and I didn’t take the time because it would take too much time to go through and talk about the wailing women.
The Bible speaks many times of the women who would come in and wail, and that means with demonstrative, passionate expression. These women are crying out from the depths of their soul the misery and the pain that they are suffering at the time, and so I wanted to give you that because I wanted you to get the picture now as we transition. I am transitioning from a godly grief that is dealing with repentance and our Christian walk into a grief that is born, that is a worldly grief, but that we have to live in this world and deal with this grief. That God did not bring this on us, but we are dealing with this and there is subsequently a godly way to deal with that grief, even though it was not born from God’s will for you. Okay, so I want you to lean in and I want you to get these, but these are five things that we need to do that can help us to deal with grief, and doing it so in a biblical manner that brings healing and help to us to get through the grief. Okay, so the first thing that we can do is five things to do with grief.
What do we do with grief? Five things to do with grief. Number one we go through it. We go through it. What do I mean by that?
Go to Psalm 23, verse four, and it says even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death so there is obviously death on the perimeter I may have lost someone to death. The death hasn’t hit me physically. Yet I’m the one dealing with the grief, I’m the one walking through the shadow, the valley of the shadow of death. And what does the scripture say? I will fear no evil, for you are with me, are with me your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Now I want to break this down and kind of take us into. How do we do that? What does it mean to go through it? What does it mean to go through the valley of the shadow of death? Because we actually need to mourn. So how do we walk through? We mourn, we wail, we cry out, we express it. If that’s in, maybe it causes you to write poetry, to journal, to to um, to lay in the bed and think whatever your morning and your crying out looks like you need to actually do it. You need to actually cry. You need to actually go through the sorrow and mourn the loss or whatever. Whatever you’re dealing with you, you must mourn what was taken, what was lost, what could have been, and you need to mourn it. You need to mourn the sorrow and the pain that it’s causing.
Matthew 5, verse 4, says blessed are those who mourn. Blessed are those who mourn. Why? For they shall be comforted. I can’t receive the comfort of God without first pouring out the mourning that is in me. I have to mourn so that the comfort can come.
Ecclesiastes 3, verse 4, says a time to weep. This is in the whole passage. It says there’s a time for everything under the sun a time to weep, a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance. There’s actually a time for it, and when the time comes, we need to go through it. And when the time comes, we need to go through it.
What makes going through that godly or worldly? How do we do it? The godly way and not a worldly way? This is hard. This is a hard one, but this will help. Sometimes the medicine tastes bad when it goes down, but it produces healing in us. And I’m going to give you a picture of what worldly adding to this would do to you. How do I say that Godly sorrow will avoid this? Worldly sorrow will add this to to the mourning process. Okay, and that is self-pity. We don’t add self-pity to our wounds and to our mourning. The temptation is to wallow instead of actually mourn. Now, what do I mean by that? To sink in.
Self-pity says that this always happens to me. Always it’s me. I’m alone. This doesn’t happen to anybody else. Why is it always me? Of course this is going to be me. Of course I have to deal with this. It’s going to always be like this. It will never get better than this. This is my lot in life, no matter what has happened. I can’t change it. It’s always happened to me and it’s a wallowing. Self-pity is the definition of wallow To. It’s not. There’s a morning where you sit in the morning and you cry out, but to wallow in it says this is where I now live. Okay, this is now. This is now where I live. I I’m never coming out of this and I want everybody to remain here with me. I want them to encourage me in this self-pity and I know we don’t realize we do that and please, if you’re hurting, self-pity and I know we don’t realize we do that and please, if you’re hurting, please hear the heart that I am trying to say this with. Self-pity will make you hurt more. It will keep you wounded. You won’t be able to heal if you remain in a place of self-pity, and I’m just trying to throw you a lifeline here, trying to help you begin to pull your way out.
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Well, let me read you the scripture. John 16, 33 says that. And I’m not reading you the scripture, I’m telling you the essence of the scripture. It tells us that because we are in this world, we will have trouble. I mean, that’s what Jesus told us. If you’re in this world, you’re going to have trouble. He also encourages us on the back end and says but you can be of good cheer because I’ve overcome the world. There’s an exchange that is made. There’s an understanding that self-pity will tell you it shouldn’t have happened to me and it always happens to me and we’re alone in this. And biblically that’s not accurate. We’re being told that everybody suffers at some point. If we’re in this world, we’re going to face trouble. That’s everybody. That’s everybody. That’s everybody. But that with Christ we can actually have cheer arise back in our spirits, we can have joy, come back because he has overcome. And if he has overcome, he will lead us into overcoming. There is an exchange With Jesus. There’s an exchange. It goes from the worldly sorrow to godly sorrow.
Okay, here’s, here’s another part of going through that Valley. We keep moving forward. We keep moving forward. We’re in the Valley of the shadow of death, yes, but we keep walking. We don’t stay there. We keep moving forward.
Psalm 23, four says I walk through. Even though I walk through, we walk through. We don’t stop and build a house there. We don’t set up camp in the valley of the shadow of death. We keep moving, one day at a time, but we keep moving forward. We allow the newness of the new day. Thank God that his word tells us that his mercy is new every morning and great is his faithfulness. He will be faithful to you every next day that you have to get up and get through this today. He will be right there with you if you will allow him to lead you through.
I’m using Psalm 23 because he is the good shepherd. He’s the one that leads us through. We follow the shepherd. We don’t go through it alone. We follow the shepherd and we understand that while we go through, he has a rod and sometimes he corrects us during that journey to keep us going, so we get where we’re supposed to be. He protects us. He has a staff to keep away, a rod to beat away the things that will bring more pain and more suffering, that are not necessary. He knows where the wolves are hiding. He will do his best, and his best is the best to be able to protect us during this time of sorrow. He is the good shepherd. We keep moving forward.
Our reliance is not on our ability Now think about this every day that you’ve got to get through this. Your reliance is not on your ability to keep going, but it is to rest on the strength that the Lord promises us. Psalm 147.3 says he heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Isaiah 41.10 says Fear not, for I am with you. Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. We take courage when we’re going through this valley.
Joshua 1.9 says have I not commanded you be strong and courageous? I know that’s hard, I know it’s hard. It takes strength to get through this valley. It takes courage to get through sorrow and grief. It takes courage, it really does. And he says have I not commanded you be strong and courageous, do not be frightened and do not be dismayed, for the Lord, your God, is with you wherever you go.
What did David say? And I don’t have this one in my notes, but he says if I even make my bed in hell, there you are, there is no place that I can go, that you are not there with me. This courage, we have to take it. We have to take this courage, but we take it in order to keep going and with the Lord’s help, we can do it. This means that I continue.
Even in my sorrow, even in the pain, even in the weeping, even in the depression, I come to the word of God for help. The word is called the bread of life. This is the bread of life, and I come here to feed, I come here to eat, I come here to get nourished, I come here to get strength. Why do we eat? Why do they tell you that you’re weak? You need to eat. You need to eat something. The old Testament is full of all the examples of when David would go into war and they would fight so long they would be famished and they would lose all their strength. They had to eat in order to receive strength and we have to do the same. We are weak in our sorrow and we need to go to the word in order that we can receive strength.
We ask trusted friends and pastors and leaders. Ask trusted friends and pastors and leaders, people that we know will give us godly help to get us through our sorrow, to get us through the valley of the shadow of death. We ask them to pray for us, we ask them to remember us. We confide in them, we make ourselves this word may seem funny to you, but it’s correct we make ourselves accountable to them, meaning that they can say to us I want to help you through this, let’s get in our word, let’s read, let’s pray, and they can help us along keeping us accountable to a way that brings health and nourishment to us and not allowing us to be wallowing in the worldly sorrow that leads to death.
We want to experience his resurrection, life and power, and we can receive it. The scripture tells us we can receive his resurrection power and it can bring life to our mortal bodies. Everything that we feel in this, in the pain and the suffering. He can bring life and encouragement. He can help us to stand back up where we have fallen to our knees in pain and in sorrow and in grief and he can lift us back up and show us a new day and we can see the sunshine again and we can hear the birds sing again and we ourselves can sing a song again of rejoicing instead of mourning and sorrow.
If people offer and this can be easier for some, harder for others If people offer help when we’re in sorrow, many times if we are sinking into the worldly sorrow, worldly grieving, we can not want help because we actually have the tendency to want to wallow. We don’t want help or we think they can’t help. There’s nothing you can do. But friends, please hear me. If you are suffering and someone offers you some kind of help whether that be someone offers you’re dealing with depression and someone offers to cook a meal for you, let them bring the meal to you. If they offer to watch your children for you. If they offer to clean your home for you, if they offer to take you out and just sit with them somewhere to get you out of the house.
To change the scenery a little bit, my husband and I were. We took a walk yesterday. He had done a workout and I like to go walking. So he said hey, when I’m finished, do you want to go for a walk? And I said yes. So we went for a walk and instead of him getting on the treadmill, he decided to actually go for a walk with me. And he made the comment you know, it’s better, this is much better. I need to get out of the house. And he was just meaning when you’re just feeling overwhelmed by stuff. He’s dealing with a lot of work right now. There’s a lot of pressure he’s dealing with. And he said I need to get out of the house. And he said, instead of just getting on the treadmill and going nowhere and looking at a television screen, I need to get outside.
Because it was a beautiful day and there was. You felt the breeze on your face and you could hear the birds chirping and and you know airplanes going overhead and people walking and talking, and it it does something for our spirits. God created creation for us, he made it for us, he created the garden and then put man in the garden because the garden was for man, and so we just need to understand that we can experience life if we will allow ourselves to not wallow, to not be overcome and to to. And, like I said, if someone offers you a change, a change of scenery, take it, even if that means someone says, hey, let’s just go sit and have a cup of coffee, and even if at coffee they’re there to just let you pour your heart out and your grief out and they’re just sitting there with you, but but you’re out and they’re just sitting there with you but but you’re out and you’re not stuck, you’re going through.
It’s important to go through. Let people be an encouragement to you, let them help. And if they haven’t offered but you know they love you and they wish there was something they can do it’s okay to say would you help me with this? It’s okay to ask for help If that means you need to go get a counselor, someone that you can just talk to, someone to just pour your heart out, to someone who could help you. If you’re dealing with a confusing situation and you need help navigating, it’s okay to ask for help. It’s wise to ask for help. There’s wisdom in the counsel of many, so that’s scripture. So it’s wise to ask for help. There’s wisdom in the counsel of many, so that that’s scripture. So it’s okay to do that. But that’s a part of the walking through, and here is kind of the last part of taking courage. But that is to allow people to cry with you. Sometimes the tendency is to pull away and to do this, to walk this out alone. Let them cry with you.
Romans 12, 15 says rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. It does help, it really does help. And then we need to number two. So that was number one. That’s the first thing out of five. Number two that was the longest one.
If you’re worried, this is going to take forever to get through, it won’t? Number two we examine the grief. You need to really examine the grief. What kind of grief am I experiencing? Second Corinthians 7, verses 10 and 11, I’m just giving us a reminder, for godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation. A godly grief will lead us to a place where we feel the Savior, where we feel his help, where we’re rescued, where healing takes place. Ask yourself am I going through that kind of grief or am I going through a worldly grief and it’s producing death in me? I’m not getting any better as the days go by. I’m growing worse. Getting any better as the days go by, I’m growing worse. This is getting worse, not better. There is a difference in grief.
1 Thessalonians 4, verses 13 and 14, says but we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, he’s talking about those who have died. That you may not grieve as others do, who do not have hope. See, godly grief says I understand that I actually have hope that this death season, this mourning that I’m going through, is not permanent. There is everlasting life. That is what Jesus provided for us. And he says that his blessings and his benefits, folks, they are available to us in the land of the living, not just when we get to heaven. They’re available now. Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted. That’s the reason he came. It’s the very reason he made an appearance to us and went through what he went through. We grieve, but we grieve with hope. It doesn’t mean we don’t grieve. It doesn’t mean we try not to grieve. We do. We go through the valley, but we grieve with hope.
Psalm 56, 8 says you have kept count of my tossings. He’s talking about being on his bed and unable to sleep in the restlessness and the torment of the sorrow, of the sorrow. You have kept count of my tossings. You’ve put my tears in your bottle. It is the most beautiful picture that he’s literally collecting our tears and saving them because they are so valuable to him. It matters folks. He cares about you, he loves you. He says, are they not in your book? Meaning he’s keeping a record of them. He’s writing down every time I cry, every time I’m in pain, every time I’m suffering, he’s writing it down and keeping a record of it.
He comforts. This is the difference in this mourning process. He comforts us when we’re in godly sorrow. Isaiah 43, 2 says when you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers they shall not overwhelm you. When you walk through fire, you shall not be burned and the flame shall not consume you. Psalm 119.50 says this is my comfort in my affliction that your promise gives me life. And Revelation 21.4 says he will wipe away every tear from their eyes and death shall be no more. Neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore. For the former things have passed away. We look at our thought life Now. This is how to we go through grief differently. There’s difference between godly and worldly grief, between godly and worldly grief. Here’s one of the ways it’s different we look at life and how we are thinking in terms of grief. We look at our thought life and how we are thinking in terms of grief. Now, this pertains to all thought life, but we need to also realize this is while we’re going through grief and sorrow.
Go to Philippians 4, and this is verses 6 through 8. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving. I know that’s hard, replication With thanksgiving. I know that’s hard, but and I’ve practiced this and I’ll continue reading in just a moment If you’re ever really discouraged and you’re in those moments of grief I have I know this sounds hard to do, but I have a challenge for you Get something to write with and begin writing down even now, even in the midst of your sorrow and grief what are you grateful for?
What are you thankful for? Write them down, every single thing. We don’t remember many times throughout the day. We don’t remember many times throughout the day how much we have to be grateful for. It could be that you have someone who cries with you. It could be that it could have been worse and less people were affected. It could be that circumstances have changed and it’s not the same as it was before. It could be that now you realize you have God and he will get you through where before you felt you had nothing. You had no hope.
Whatever the circumstance, folks, there is always something to be grateful for, even if that means you think about literally every part of your body that does work. If you’re dealing with sickness and there are parts of your body that don’t work, write down every part that does and be grateful for every one of those parts. And let me continue that. Keep that thought process in mind while I read this With thanksgiving do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God, and if we do that, and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart, the thing that’s wounded and in pain, and your mind, the part that’s suffering and thought in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is anything excellent, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
The challenge that this is bringing to us is that if we are sinking in the thoughts of our misery, we can actually begin a healing process in our spirits, if we will force our thoughts onto these things, if we will take our thoughts with purpose. What does another passage say, and I don’t have it written down, but we take every thought captive. I’m going to bring that thought captive and instead, instead, I’m going to force my mind to think about what is true, what’s honorable, what is just, what’s pure, what’s lovely, cure, what’s lovely. Folks, I have used this as a great weapon and tool in my life, for my thought life, and it is a powerful tool if you’ll use it. It’s like having a weapon right there that you can use and instead of allowing your thought life to beat you up and pummel your heart and your mind, if you don’t pick up the weapon, you’ll just get more beat up. But if I pick up the weapon and I use it, then I can save myself from that grief and extra misery and pain. I know it means it takes strength, but, like I gave you the earlier scriptures, he will be our strength, god will be our strength.
I want you to think about this, about your thought life. What are you choosing to dwell on? What memories are you focused on remembering? Are we consumed by regret and the things which we can do nothing about. I want you to think about regret for a minute, because it’s an awful, awful master. Regret can cause one of two things in us, and we want the right one and not the wrong one. And we want the right one and not the wrong one. You can have regret that is an unending yet ever-growing torment of which you have no control over to change. Or you can have the understanding that you can change what lies in front of you. Maybe not what happened and what’s behind you, but what’s in front of you. Maybe not what happened and what’s behind you, but what’s in front of you.
Philippians 3, 13 and 14 says brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own, but one thing I do forgetting what lies behind and straining forward. He knows it’s hard, it’s a strain. Straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. If your goal is healing through Jesus Christ, that’s an upward call to be free, to be healed, to not be bound to the sufferings of yesterday. Folks, we have to strain. We don’t want to get stuck in the valley of the shadow of death. We want to keep going through. We want to get through.
Okay, this is number three. What do we do with grief? We cast it. We cast it. First period, first period.
First Peter five, seven says casting all your anxieties on him because he cares for you. You have to cast it on him, you have to unburden yourself. You have to say Lord, I can’t carry this. I’m giving it to you. I need you to carry it for me and folks, he will. Psalm 55, 22 says cast your burden on the Lord and he will sustain you. He will never permit the righteous to be moved. It means he’s your anchor. He will hold you. He will keep you in this very difficult time. Isaiah 53, 4 says surely, he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows. If we will cast it onto him, he has already shown us that he will carry that burden for us. He says my yoke is easy, my burden is light. If you are heavy laden today, give him your burden and let him carry it for you. Take his yoke on you because his burden is light.
Number four what do we do with grief? We use it. We use it with grief, we use it. We use it. 2 Corinthians 1, verses 3 and 4 says Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. He’s saying that it is God who blesses us with his comfort, and we can then, in turn, take that comfort and minister comfort to others. We use it. We use it. It may not happen right away, and don’t feel pressured, don’t feel another burden come on you. But, folks, this can happen without you even knowing or intending for it to happen, happen without you even knowing or intending for it to happen. I have a family, a couple family members, and they’re going through some great grief right now and they have lost a loved one, a daughter, a sister, a grandchild, it’s cousins, a family member it’s been grievous to bear, member it’s been grievous to bear and we have all had each our own grief. And at the same time, the mother, the father as well. I’ve just seen the mothers, because she posts on social media, her father doesn’t post on social media. Her mother, the girl who passed her mother this is my sister-in-law. She’s very dear to my heart as a believer. Precious woman of God is not only grieving herself, she’s grieving as a wife. She’s grieving as a mother. She grieves for her children who are grieving. She grieves whatever was ahead. That is now not that she can’t lay her hands on. She grieves from what has happened in the past and whatever struggles were there and grieving the pain that led to the loss. There was so much loss, so much to grieve, so much sorrow and pain. And yet she remains in her word, she remains in prayer. She will post encouragement on social media. Even in her pain, she doesn’t deny her pain. She will say what pain she’s suffering. She mourns and she says it. She grieves and gets it out. She is fully processing her grief. And yet she’ll say but the Lord is with me, the Lord is comforting me, the Lord is taking me through. And we have watched and actually been comforted by the way she has gone through her grieving process. We grieve for her, we grieve with her, we grieve with them and yet, watching them and the things they do, they have encouraged it was, it is such a godly grief that she is going through that literally like that first scripture that I gave you in second Corinthians seven um, 10 and 11,. It is producing things in us. It is producing in us eagerness ourselves. It is producing in us righteousness and a desire to help, to do, to be and do as she is doing when we suffer. It has produced godly results in our spirit, the fruit of the spirit being made manifest. And she’s not doing it for us. She’s just going through the grieving process, but it’s what she’s doing with her grief, she’s using it. She’s using it and she is going through the valley of the shadow of death. The valley of the shadow of death, number five, number five. Oh, you know what I missed something. I want to give this to you In. We Use it. I want to just say this that whole scenario of my precious family members who are going through this, what they do, what they’ve done with this and the use of it, has produced in all of us gratitude and much prayer, gratitude and much prayer. Her continual um allowing us into her life to help if there’s help that we can give, especially when this was so fresh, so many came in and helped and they allowed us to help. But it has produced much prayer and it continues to produce much prayer, because when I’ll see a post that’s made, there’s a gratitude of what God is doing and how he’s carrying her. There’s a gratitude that in the moment, I am able to bear whatever I’m needing to bear and there is a production of prayer in remembrance of her continually and their family, in remembrance of her continually and their family, and prayer of us remaining and becoming stronger and doing exactly what this second Corinthians scripture talks about that this will produce godly results and salvation in our lives. So I just wanted to not skip that and not give that to you. But number five this is the last one we respond to grief. What do we do with grief? We respond to grief Whether we are going through it or we know someone who is. We have an opportunity to respond to grief. Now, this is going to be kind of a touchback on the things that we’ve talked about, but I was talking about them there as if I’m the person going through the grief. This is if you are not the one going through grief, or maybe even if you are and you want to help somebody else, even while you’re suffering. But this is you looking and knowing someone needs help, if someone is experiencing godly grief for a wrong, for a wrong that was done to them or a wrong? Um, let let’s say, actually, let let’s change this up. Let’s say you are going through something that someone has wronged you, Someone has wronged you and you’re wanting to go through this in godly sorrow, with godly grief, in a way that is holy before the Lord, that will lead to repentance of the one that has done wrong and healing for you, the one wronged. I want us to look at what we need to do. First thing we have to do is we have to forgive. We have to forgive and we need to encourage them If we’re wanting to produce godly results in them. If we have, if our brother has sinned against us, according to scripture, we go to that brother and we talk to that brother about it, and that might mean that there are consequences that that person has to face, just as there were in second Corinthians, where Paul gave instructions for correction and they’re needing to make sure that they’re doing this right. Well, let’s say you’re in that situation. Maybe this is you and you’re having to deal with it and go to somebody and correct them and a wrong has been done to you. How is the right way for you to respond? With a godly grief, a godly sorrow. How should you respond to this? Galatians 6.1 says brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you, who live by the spirit you live by the spirit, not the world’s way, god’s way doing it, god’s way should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Now, if they have not repented and the confrontation of truth and righteousness they have not received, you don’t have to restore them, but for your own sake you need to forgive them. You can allow God to deal with them, that’s okay. I’m talking about someone that this has produced godly repentance in Godly repentance, like we saw in 2 Corinthians 7. So if we’ve seen that, then we want to restore them gently. If I see this happening to someone else they’ve been wronged. My encouragement in response to them is to help them to forgive. If we don’t forgive folks, we bear the burden ourself continually. It is a weight that is killing us. We won’t receive freedom by holding that person hostage in our mind. We want godly justice, we want godly truth, we want godly righteousness to prevail, but that means God has to do it. So I have to release it into God’s hands. That’s part of the casting it. I have to be able to cast it to God. Let him bear it, let him carry it, and if that means I need to forgive, let him have that. Let him have what was done to you, let him have the wrong that was done and let forgiveness be pervasive in your heart and in your mind. James 5, verse 16, says Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. How do we respond to grief? Depending on how you have been wronged or the person who is guilty of the wrong. If you know you’ve done wrong, go and confess. If you want to be healed from your regret and your sorrow, go confess. But if it has been done to you, then confess to the Lord what has happened to you and allow that healing to come and take place. Share it with a friend who’s trusted and confess that you’re struggling with forgiveness, or you’re struggling to let it go, or the sorrow you’re struggling in self-pity. Confess it one to another, because it’s in that confession one to another that healing can take place, and it says that the prayer of those people when we do this and we couple it with prayer, when we confess and pray, it is powerful and effective. So if you’re looking for a powerful solution to helping you through this, it truly it is in with a trusted person, confession of whatever that is that you’re going through, even if you have not, even if you were completely wronged. But now you have what has it’s, it’s festered in you and now there’s bitterness, and now there’s anger that won’t leave, and now there’s um, now you want to take revenge, and there are all these ungodly things being produced because it’s worldly grief that has led to death inside of you. It sometimes we need to confess those and say this is what I’m feeling, this is what I’m thinking, and then get prayer and release it, cast it off, cast it to Jesus and allow that confession and prayer to take place. It is effective and it is powerful and it will do what God says it will do. That word of God will not return void. It will accomplish what it was set out to do. If their grief is because of loss or tragedy, how do we respond to them? How do we respond? Comfort them. Comfort them. Sometimes that simply looks like sitting with somebody. We like to call this the gift of presence, where you just come and sit with them. You’re just there, just be there. I’d rather you say nothing. Sometimes we say the most ridiculous things and they don’t help, they make it worse. We’ll say it could have been worse. Or we can say could have been worse. Or we can say well, count your blessings. Well, they need to count their blessings, but in a way that is godly, not it not in a worldly way that brings sorrow and pain, and that doesn’t need to come from preaching at somebody when they’re in pain. Yeah, that doesn’t help them. We need to talk to them in a way that brings comfort, even if that means, yeah, this is awful, it’s horrible. I’m, I’m so sorry. I wish I had something to say. There’s nothing to say. I just want to be here with you. I’m so sorry. Allow people to go through the valley of the shadow of death. Don’t try to stop them from mourning. Don’t try to say things to get them to stop crying. Let them mourn, let them go through it. It’s necessary that they go through. It’s necessary. Sometimes. Weeping with them is what will produce the change in their spirit. It brings them comfort. Romans 12, 15 says and I read this to you earlier rejoice with those who rejoice. Weep with those who weep. Sometimes we just have to be there in the weeping because eventually it will take them through. Eventually they will come out on the other side and they will need you to then be there again as their comfort in rejoicing. It’s a twofold ministry, and one can produce the other and, as we saw in 2 Corinthians 1, 3 to 4, I gave this to you already, but blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction. If we’re to do like God does, he comforts us in all affliction. We are to do the same so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. If we can lighten their load, what else do we do? We lighten it, we offer. If they say no, I don’t want it, it doesn’t hurt to just send a meal. Even if they say I don’t need it, I don’t need anything, I don’t need anything, you can do something and you can just say I’m here, I’m ready to be a comfort in any way. When you’re ready, you can offer to take them, like I said, out into the world, out into creation. And if they’re not willing, that’s okay. Keep asking. Give it a couple of days, keep asking, remain faithful to those who are going through the valley. Don’t desert them in their valley. Walk with them through that valley so they can come through on the other side. I just want to close this by praying for those who are suffering today. Close this by praying for those who are suffering today. And if that’s you today, can I just say I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for the grief you’re feeling. I’m sorry for the pain that you’ve been enduring. I’m sorry it’s lasted this long. I’m sorry that you feel confused and don’t have answers. I’m sorry if there has not come justice where justice needs to be. But know that God sees. He sees you. Your tears matter to him. He’s not left you alone. He is here to comfort you. Let me pray for you today, father. Let me start by just saying thank you. Thank you that you had come for this exact purpose, that you would bind up the brokenhearted, that you would be the one who would bear our burdens and carry our sorrows. Lord, it is my request today that, for every person under the sound of my voice who is needing to be comforted today, that you would show up in a big way today, that they would know you see them, you have heard their cries. You are there to make a way. You will guide them as the good shepherd and take them through this valley of the shadow of death. That they do not have to be afraid because you are a good shepherd. You have your rod and your staff and you will use them. You will protect them. You will keep them. You will not allow their foot to be moved. You will anchor them in the security of the rock. Jesus Christ. Thank you, father, that you will take them through and it will not always be this way. We are giving you thanks in advance, for there is a new day. Your mercies are new every morning. Thank you that you’re faithful, no matter what Great is your faithfulness. May they know your voice by your word today and may they know your arms by your comfort. And it is in Jesus’ name that we pray all of these things, amen. Thank you for allowing me the time today to try to bring encouragement into your hearts. I pray I was successful and that you gleaned something today, no matter where you find yourself, is the one helping or the one going through? God is watching folks and he’s made a way. There is a difference. We can get through this valley and there is a difference. Let’s do it God’s way. Let’s not allow death to swallow us up. Let’s get through this God.
